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This has happened before. Jean has taken to great lengths to show me how loved I am. Yet I always seem to forget. I don't know why. I just do.  Last night I think it was a bit different. The last few times all she showed me was how much she cared. She kind of... pulled me into her head. Showed me how she saw me through her eyes. We've been remarkably close ever since. Like when she and Logan took off for Alberta she took me with her. She didn't give Logan a choice. Though I didn't hear him complain I don't think he really cared much.

I suppose thats what bothered me most. Bothers. He didn't care... or doesn't. If he had cared either way... I could have reacted. I could have known what I should do. Whether or not I should go with them or stay at the Mansion. I guess I'm glad that I'm here. But I still wonder if I belong here. I know I'm welcome like everyone else is. I know Jean wants me here with her. So she can take care of me. Because god knows I never learned to take care of myself. Though I'm thinking it's time for me to start growing up and learn to take care of myself. No Remy or Logan or Jean to help me along the way. I think.... I really think I need to do this alone.

I'm starting to feel like I'm going down the path Logan's been on. But... somehow... It's going to become my path. I don't know what's on the other end of it but I need to find out. I need to do this.

Last night Jean took a paper from Emma's book. Not intentionally though. She gathered the family and sort of Channeled their love for me so that I could see it.  So I could feel it. It was amazing. And calming. Like ah was being wrapped in warm light. Strangely... the first person I saw through the light and warmth was Warren. I had never seen him like that before. Hell I don't think I'd ever seen him much before. He was more clear than anyone else... even Jean. Which surprised me. An he continued to express concern now. He offered anything and everything I could ever want. If only he knew. I think he does... but no matter how desperate he sounds... hes trying.  The only way he knows how.

I tried to look for Logan. I could barely see him. It was like he had dark cloud around him. Like he didn't want to be seen. Like he didn't want me to see him. But Jean and Warren were the strongest. I could also see Bobby pretty clearly. Bless his ice cold heart *winks*


It was only because of them that I didn't leave last night like I was so set on.

I don't know if this is a good thing or not yet. But... thats how it is.

Wish me luck guys.

~Rogue

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Desperado

Remy,

Why don't you come to your senses
Been out ridin' fences, for so long now

 "Ah jus don know what ta do with you. Ah can't understand why ya do tha things ya do. Why do ya love me? An why do ya take off right when ahm gettin comfortable?"

Oh, you're a hard one
But I know that you got your reasons

"It all comes down ta trust ah suppose. Ah gotta trust that ya do love me an that ya got yer reason fer takin off tha way ya do. Even tho it hurts me ah gotta trust ya with it."

These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow

"Every one says yer not good enough fer me. They say yer trouble. That yer jus gon break mah heart. What they don know is that ya already did. An ah don care."

Don't you draw the queen of diamonds boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet

"Ya say tha Queen a Hearts is yer girl. Yer lucky lady. Ah can't tell ya how much that bothered me. That ya looked ta yer pack a playin cards fer yer special girl. Then ah started findin her... laid out in places only ah would see her. Mah bedside table. Where ah sit bah tha fire when a read. Ya'd even sneak inta tha bathroom when ah was showerin an stick her in tha mirror."

But it seems to me some fine things have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones you can't get

"Ah met her ya know. Yer firs Queen a Hearts. Bella. Ah don think she knew who ah was. An still she was down right cruel. Catty and mean. Nothin she said was nice er even polite. What did ya eva see in her?"

Desperado
Oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home

"Ya walked away from her... an ya keep walkin away from me. Yet... ya neva wen back ta her... why do ya come back ta me? Have ya finally found yer home?"

And freedom, oh freedom, well that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walkin' through this world all alone

"You an ah. We gotta lot in common sugah. Loneliness... emptiness... no real family ta speak of. Ah was alone til you pushed yer way inta mah life. An made yerself mah family. Mah true family. You n Kurt. S'all ah need. Yer not alone Darlin. Ya got me... an y'll always have me."

Don't your feet get cold in the wintertime
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the nighttime from the day

"You been wandering s'much y'fergot what yer lookin for. Ah think ah got an idea whatcher after. The'same thing ah am. A place ta fit... a place ta call home."

And you're losin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feelin' goes away

"Ever time y'go out lookin fer yerself ya lose more a yerself. Ah know cause ah been there. Ah done it an ah watch you n Logan do it all tha time."

Desperado
Why don't you come to your senses

"Ah know one day... yer gonna stop walkin out on me. An ahm gon stop pushin ya away."

Come down from those fences, open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you

"Come home sugah. Come home t'me. We cin wander tha world t'gether. Our kinda loneliness makes us a perfect match."

You better let somebody love you, let somebody love you

"Ah promise ta let ya in sugah. If ya promise not ta leave me."

You better let somebody love you

"We all got our past darlin. But mahn an yers. They match. We're two of a kind workin on a full house."

Before it's too late

"Ahm waitin fer ya Sugah."

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Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as Rogue

Rogue is a strong but tragic personality. She loves Gambit. Because of her mutant powers, she cannot touch anyone without hurting them. Therefore, she longs for human contact. However, this southern gal's strong personality has allowed her to deal with this. Powers: Absorbs lifeforce and powers by touch, Super strength, and flight

Wolverine

100%

Rogue

100%

Gambit

80%

Colossus

80%

Iceman

70%

Storm

70%

Emma Frost

65%

Nightcrawler

45%

Jean Grey

45%

Cyclops

25%

Beast

10%
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I'm still shaken up about last night. I'm still lost in the meaning of it all. My God I love him so much. But I still love Remy. Logan Ive always been in love with. But because of my condition I never mentioned anything. It was impossible and I thought it would always be impossible.
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Current situation.
8 of Swords
Fear of moving out of a situation of restriction.
The 8 of Swords shows that we are stopping an important part of ourselves from being alive. It therefore often expresses inhibitions and prohibitions that almost always have their source within us, but often tend to be projected onto our surroundings. It characterizes the typical 'yes but' stance that Reverend Ike described in a famous speech*: 'I would like to do this or that, but . . . 'I would like to become this or that, but 'I would like to have this or that, but Nevertheless, all that stands between the wonderful things that we want to do, become, or have is only our 'but.' This card challenges us to perceive that the limitations, difficulties, and prohibitions are not in the outer world, but rather reflected in our own fears and inhibitions. In any case, the 8 of Swords means that there is something valuable in us that we are repressing. This could sometimes be a passing renunciation or a limitation based on better judgement.

The external influence.
7 of Cups
Creativity and talent in abundance, confusion of choices.
The 7 of Cups is the card of deception and illusion, the mirage, the twilight. It shows that we have false hopes and notions and that we deceive ourselves and let ourselves be deceived. It is usually the herald of disillusionment and must be understood as an urgent warning against delusions. Yet the card also has a pleasant aspect; it promises unexpected help if we are prepared to let go of the abundance of our hopes and ideals, concentrating instead on a single realistic plan.

The future.
The Hermit
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The Hermit is the card of seclusion and turning within. It characterizes an introverted phase in life, during which we shield ourselves from outside influences. We find repose and, above all, are separate from bustling activity and crowds of people. The Hermit therefore stands for an important experience within, through which we can perceive who we are, what we want, and how we can get there. He unites two valuable extremes: the depth of experience and the heights of perception. This card is often wrongly feared by many people. It is only when its qualities are misunderstood that fears of loneliness and abandonment arise. The person who follows the call of the Hermit willingly will find enrichment through clarity, strength, and the joyful experience of being able to be alone with himself.

The influence of the past. Traditions, habits.
The Sun
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The Sun card expresses a great joy of living, vitality, warmth, and confidence. It also stands for the illuminating powers of the conscious mind with which we achieve clarity and overcome problems, annoyances, and uncanny fears. It is additionally a symbol of youthful freshness and the feeling of being reborn. It represents the sunny side of life. On a deeper level, it challenges us to overcome the darkness in ourselves, expand our sunlike nature, and free our 'darkened' brother or sister and bring them into the light.

The past, prehistory.
8 of Cups
Time to let go of the past.
The 8 of Cups is one of the three departure cards of the Tarot and stands for parting with a heavy heart.* It shows that we break away from familiar surroundings, separate from people or things that are close to our heart, and go on our way into an uncertain future. In any case, it means that we are not being driven away,** but rather are leaving of our own accord, whereby it could be that we have no other choice. The particular difficulty of this card lies in the doubly negative aspect: we have to give up things that meant much to us, and we do not know where our path leads.

The close future.
10 of Cups
Contentment, peace and harmony in relationships.
This card is the highest expression of harmony and deep, joyful love. It shows that we feel ourselves to be safe and secure, that our feelings are true, and that we are not subject to any sort of deception or illusion. It signifies a basically friendly mood, good neighborly contacts, love and joy in dealing with the people close to us, as well as deep happiness and thankfulness in a partnership or family.

How do you influence on the situation.
Prince (Knight) of Wands
Change of residence, journeys, moves.
The Knight of Wands embodies a warm to heated atmosphere in which high spirits, passion, and enraptured enthusiasm can be found, but also impatience, hot-bloodedness, impulsiveness, and impetuous exaggeration. It therefore depends very much on the area of life that this card characterizes as to whether we are allowed to enjoy its warmth or must fear its heat and instability. The impatience expressed by this card means that we want everything immediately. If something doesn't succeed or if there's something we don't get, our reaction is explosive, angry, and aggressive. Yet the warmth of the Knight of Wands is animating and rousing, capable of sometimes relaxing a frosty atmosphere and bringing new momentum to deadlocked situations.

You public relations. Advices.
King of Pentacles
Position and wealth, hard work.
The King of Pentacles personifies the masculine side of the earth element. He therefore stands for our striving for possessions, security, and tangible values, embodying our sense of reality. Deeds, not words, wishes, or good intentions matter to him. He is the expression of our striving for durability, constancy, and the reliable return of all that is familiar. At the same time he has a fine sense of the feasible and practical, as well as an instinctively certain sense of favorable opportunities to make good deals. He stands for a consciousness of time, the knowledge that steadfast values ripen slowly, and therefore represents our willingness to wait patiently and not rush anything. In addition, the King of Pentacles also expresses our sensuous, pleasure-enjoying nature and our search for the satisfaction of our desires. His shadow side is the insatiable, the lecher, the heartless haggler, and, last but not least, the comfort-loving lazybones, the ‘Oblomov in us,’ as Goncharov has so brilliantly described him.

Your wishes, dreams, fears.
King of Cups
Kindness, helpfulness.
The King of Cups embodies the masculine side of the water element, our search for transcendental experience, redemption, and the mysterious unification with the original source, the Numinas, or however the language tries to describe the unnameable. He has the knowledge that this area is closed forever to the intellectual approach and can only be experienced by those who open themselves to intuitive introspection and are prepared to let themselves be found and touched. In addition, the King of Cups stands for the will to give our feelings and medial abilities more space by giving the form of music, poetry, and other arts, including the healing arts, to the vibrations that we receive. But when we deal with these powers in an amateur or thoughtless fashion, a caricature comes about in the form of the ludicrous bungler, the unworldly crackpot, and the extremely unreliable person who is often insincere as well. On the basis of lack of ability to draw the line, this person tends to be a plaything of the powers and is drawn into unwelcome entanglements and intrigues.

The most probable result.
Queen of Swords
Strength, determination, courage in adversity.
The Queen of Swords represents the feminine form of the air element. She stands for intelligence, alertness, independence, an abundance of ideas, and a quick perceptive faculty. She is the expression of our ability to solve problems and achieve higher perception with the help of our mind, without dissipating our energies or letting ourselves be tormented by doubts. In contrast to the old understanding of this card, which only saw the evil woman in the Queen of Swords, at best a widow, this motif shows us that we are dealing with a woman (or the feminine aspect of a man) who has freed herself from dependency through the power of her mind. Only in a few cases must the shadow side of this card be considered, the ice princess who has a calculating coolness and almost insurmountable aloofness behind her charm.
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roguepsyvampire
Name: roguepsyvampire
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